Why is it that we ponder all of life's mysteries while we're in the shower? Most people shower to get clean. But people like me tend to stand under the hot water, feeling each bead slide down the slope of my nose, dripping onto the shower floor while my mind goes back in time and wonders if my grandma felt any pain the day my mom stroked her hair and watched her open her eyes one last time, a single tear slipping down her cheek. I can feel myself forgetting that I'm even in a shower, and for a moment, become an old woman lying in a hospital bed, unaware that my family is surrounding me, crying. I wonder if grandma felt death that entire time, or whether it was just that one moment when the touch of my mother's hand triggered her mind to realize that there was a world still outside of her. And in that moment, I wonder if she knew she was leaving us, and if she was scared. I realized I was in the shower, dripping wet with my hair soaked and curling itself in clumps. I bent over and washed my feet, but I also took a good look at them and recognized them, not as my feet, but as a body part alone. I think you know when you're dying. You feel your body giving out on you, and it's amazing how healthy you look outside when you feel so sick inside.
What is it about being naked, drenched in water, and surrounded by steam that makes you think of the bigger picture?
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